September 27, 2014

A Modern Student-Clerical

I have received the following from an Irish clerical student.  Anyone with even a perfunctory knowledge

of Gilbert and Sullivan operas w ill recognise straight away that it’s based on “I am the Very Model of

a Modern Major-General” from The Pirates of Penzance.

I am the very model of a modern student-clerical,

I’ve had formation spiritual, humane and academical,

I know the Popes of Rome and can quote councils ecumenical

from Nicaea to Vatican II in order categorical;

I’m very well acquainted too with matters philosophical,

I understand all arguments Cartesian and Platonical;

about things transcendental I am teaming with a lot of news,

with many cheerful facts concerning Hegel’s cat and how to muse.

With many cheerful facts concerning Hegel’s cat and how to muse,

with many cheerful facts concerning Hegel’s cat and how to muse,

with many cheerful facts concerning Hegel’s cat and how to, how to muse.

I’m very good at putting into use my talents pastoral

I know the name of every holy nun who has a class to rule;

In short, in matters spiritual, humane and academical

I  am the very model of a modern student-clerical.

In short, in matters spiritual, humane and academical

I am the very model of a modern student-clerical.

I can pronounce on all the controversies christological

I’ve mastered St Augustine and the sermons mystagogical

I understand Aquinas’ Summation Theological

and know the rubrics of the Trinitarian Processional.

For questions of morality I have the perfect manual

containing answers useful for all things in the confessional

For learning to read Mass, I have a disc both versatile and digital,

in Latin from that group who once were thought a tad heretical.

In Latin from that group who once were thought a tad heretical.

in Latin from that group who once were thought a tad heretical.

in Latin from that group who once were thought a tad, a tad heretical.

That said, I strive to work in continuity hermeneutical

and to be safe I read that blog on new movements liturgical.

In short, in matters spiritual, humane and academical

I am the very model of a modern student-clerical.

In short, in matters spiritual, humane and academical

I am the very model of a modern student-clerical.

I know Israel’s history and have great knowledge scriptural,

from Genesis to Apocalypse, I read in the original

That’s not to say I don’t employ good methods exegetical

like lectio divina and interpretation literal!

Upon examination I’m not lacking Law Canonical,

I know the rules on stipends and on black-stole-fees at funerals;

For couples getting married my advice is always practical,

particularly on their obligations consummational!

Particularly on their obligations consummational!

particularly on their obligations consummational!

particularly on their obligations consu-, consummational!

I have the best of knowledge on canonical impediments

so that I judge myself ordainable with little hesitance.

In short, in matters spiritual, humane and academical

I am the very model of a modern student-clerical.

In short, in matters spiritual, humane and academical

I am the very model of a modern student-clerical.