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July 22nd , 2016

From the Big Cheese to the Serfs

A final item on the Vincent Nichols v. Robert Sarah row over versus populum /versus orientem.

With acknowledgements to Eccles and his blog.

From: bigcheese@rcdow.org.uk
To: serfs@rcdow.org.uk

Dear Priests of the Archdiocese of Westminster,

You have probably read in the Tablet about a misguided statement from Cardinal Sarah, Prefect of the Congregation for Divine Worship, suggesting that some priests might like to consider the possibility, perhaps, if it’s not too much trouble, and nobody minds, of maybe going so far as celebrating some Masses ad orientem.

For those of you under the age of 60 who won’t have learnt any Latin, this is the Language of Satan’s way of saying “with your back turned rudely towards the congregation, making it hard for them to take selfies with you during Mass”.

Cardinal Sarah ad orientem

I’m so glad to see the back of Cardinal Sarah.

Now I wouldn’t go as far as my mentor, Cardinal Kasper, who said “Blimey! Those fuzzy-wuzzy priests are getting a bit above themselves, aren’t they?” but it is clear to me that my own opinions – those of a cardinal who is, dare I say it, papabile – must outweigh any ideas put forward by some jumped-up chap from the Congregation for Divine Worship who has clearly never thought about the issue.

May I remind you all that the General Instruction of the Roman Missal – which has come down to us unchanged from the days of Moses – explicitly says that the altar should be pulled back from the wall so that the cleaners can easily dust it, and this means NO FACING EAST OR YOU WILL GO TO HELL.

May I also emphasise that the celebration of the Church’s Liturgy is not a place in which priests are to exercise personal preference or taste – it is MY personal preference and taste that should be your guide in all things, even when people from the CDW say otherwise. I’ve even got the Pope on my side – well, I’ve got Lombardi and Rosica, and the Holy Father always backs up what they say, if he doesn’t want to find caterpillars in his bed.

So I’m sure you’ll all agree that, as your ordinary – and I have always tried to be as ordinary as possible – all matters of liturgy, doctrine, morals, and choice of football team to support are my decision and mine only. So belt up, the lot of you.

It seems that in Newchurch, now, (at least in the Westminster archdiocese) there’s no way of avoiding the celebrant’s grinning countenance.  I’m just glad that we Traddies don’t have to worry about all this nonsense—yet. Maybe that’s going to be the next nasty surprise our beloved Holy Father is preparing for us.

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